Killing off one’s babies sucks

I’ve leveled an entire city. I’ve destroyed a close-knit families, and I’ve even killed a character who I loved. She spoke to me once and said, “I don’t like him (Rukh).” She changed the entire trajectory of The Castes and the OutCastes and became a far more important character than I intended.
But nothing has left me as depressed as the death that I just wrote. I’d already outlined it, and even that stage it left me unhappy. I felt sick about it, but writing the actual scene . . . I got closer and closer to the moment when the character died, and I had to stop and go do something else. I eventually managed to write the words, but I’m still sad about it. I guess (I hope) that’s good writing.
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